sturgeon are probably responsible for most of history’s “lake monster” sightings around the world! these giant fish do sometimes cruise around just under the surface, and from a distance their primordially scaly spines can look like some kind of fantastical serpent, or something.
“STAY OUT OF THE WATER”
these freshwater fish are generally huge, sure, but some individuals have been recorded as north of 20 feet long, which is frankly ridiculous.
add that to the fact that a single sturgeon can live for more than a century and you’ve got a lake-monster hypothesis!
(or sometimes “jesus christ how did a shark get into the Great Lakes?”)
A month ago during the “soundcloud is going down” scare I wrote a script that basically downloaded my entire corner of SoundCloud at incredibly abusive speed and got bandwidth-banned for a month since CloudFlare detected it as a mass DDOS (which is fair I mean I was downloading like terabytes of data)
ive never seen anyone capture the feeling of meeting older dykes as well as this
THIS IS ME EVERY TIME I SEE A…well, not necessarily older, bc i am already 40. but WHEN I SEE ME A DYKE LIKE THIS. LIKE, FUCK, TAKE ME ON A DATE TO HOME DEPOT.
idk how to post this here because it has to be done panel by panel for maximum horror movie dread and realisation, maybe when more people are online
here we go, enjoy! feel free to try to guess the punchline!
Anonymous:
I’ve watched some rehabbed raptor releases on YouTube, sometimes they literally throw the bird into the air? Is that recommended? Is it ok? Seems like if the bird wasn’t ready it might not go well but idk
Yes tossing a bird is the proper method unless you’re carrying it around in a kennel and just open the door. It gives them an extra boost to get away from you as fast as possible, and spurs them to start flying instead of standing on the ground horrified and afraid to turn their back to fly away from you. It doesn’t make too much a difference in my experience, but it certainly does not hurt them.
Most raptors are light enough that falling onto the grass after a toss will not actually harm them, it’s the same reason many baby birds are not harmed when falling from the nest.
Sometimes a raptor is indeed too shocked to fly, and it’s hilarious. They’re fine, they just flop sadly on the ground.
